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Notice board. Now serving token no. 47. You are token no. 8,91,204. Server down. Come after lunch. Lunch is from 1 to 2, and from 2 to 3. Bring two photocopies of the original photocopy. Sir is on a round. Your signal is important to us. Please hold until 2047. Please do not ask when. When has been forwarded. This office is fictional. The problems are not.

We know this isn't your problem. But hear us out.

From potholes in Pune to rent in New York. From broken public services to everyday bureaucratic absurdities. The problems are real. The addressee is questionable.

An independent satirical publication. Not affiliated with Zohran Mamdani.

This is the only part of the government experience you control. Go on, click the page and stamp it.

A man on a rooftop holds up his phone beside a searchlight that projects a giant violet-ringed M onto the clouds over a rainy Indian city at night

Tried everyone else? Throw up the Mamdani signal.

Your landlord has gone quiet. The ward office says next week. The helpline is busy. Write it down, and we'll turn it into a post for X or Instagram, tagged #DearMamdani. You press post.

He won't come. That's the joke. But everyone who reads it will know you aren't the only one.

This goes out from your own account, under your name. Don't name private people or share anyone's details.

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Nothing you type here is sent to us or stored.

Thirty seconds of people who should be talking to someone else.

An AI-generated film with fictional characters. None of these people exists, and these aren't real submissions. Zohran Mamdani had nothing to do with it.

Signal of the moment, No. HM-RE018

Fixing it would cost £300 million. Not fixing it has so far cost £54 million.

London, United Kingdom

Infrastructure, 7 November 2026

Reported
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He can't fix your pothole. That is the point.

People write letters to Zohran Mamdani about problems he obviously cannot solve. A flooded road in Pune. A rent rise in Mumbai. A refund somewhere in the fifth working week.

He doesn't receive them or read them. We publish the best ones here, so that everyone else with the same problem knows they aren't imagining it.

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